The touch of my Tallit

I feel the touch of my Tallit against my skin,

The I say the morning prayers.

There are things I love as a Jew;

When I sing Oseh Shalom.

Holding the Torah,

Looking at the scroll,

Seeing the words.

The tents of Jacob,

Welcoming the Shabbat Bride,

Lighting two candles as the sun sets

Twilight beckons.

Visiting the sick,

Celebrating with those marrying

Doing Tikkun Olam

Doing Tzadek

All I have ever been,

All I ever will be,

All that I am ...

is defined by being a Jew.

Today I heard

Today could have been better.

Today I heard several things that left me speechless.

Today I heard Jews run Hollywood.

Today I heard Jews are cursed people.

Today I heard Jews have a Jewish Nose.

Today I remembered why I keep that I am a Jew secret.

Today the casual antisemitism I heard has me afraid.

Marriage Equality

Last night New Zealand Parliament voted 77-44 in flavour of marriage equality. 

It is a good thing.

Marriage equality opens up a myriad of opportunities for those wishing to marry.  For me, marriage equality means ...

that world will remain very much the same.

We are not your equals

For Smith College, rejecting a transwoman from admission as a student was based on, for them a logical reason:  Calliope Wong didn't meet the criteria.  Quite rightly there have been protest about that refusal.  But I am left wondering if its a blessing in disguise.

Calliope may have found Smith College not the welcoming place, the protest claim it to be.  Because in my experience ciswomen are fine with the idea of trnaswomen being in women only spaces.  But actually interacting with transwomen is another story entirely.  I have been involved in Feminist groups at the University I attend and worked with ciswomen on social issues for the trans community.  For the most part it work out well, until something went wrong.  Then its the fault of the transwoman. As a transwoman I am conscious of the way radical feminist see transwomen and when I am in women only spaces I try not draw attention to myself.  Part of that is as a transwoman I have learnt that within the wider feminist community, transwomen need to know their place.  Our place is to do the heavy lifting, fetch and carrying, be content that we allowed in the door.  We are not equal partners in the feminist project, we are the very junior partner that in some time in the future be given our equality.

When it comes to social issues about the trans community, like most other things a cisgender expert tells us what our issues are and what our opinion is.  Often transwomen are marginalised in the organising of such things as TDOR.

Calliope may find herself in a similar situation where her trans status maybe used to marginalise her and as a weapon to blame her, when she starts to express herself.

Creepy transphobes

Why do creepy transphobes always seem to land on their feet.  I mean they pretend to be allies, but as soon as they can they push trans people under the bus and claim how cruel the world is. 

No one ever challenges them on this.  They love hanging out with the "real" transpeople, the ones the creepy transphobes deem to be real.  Yet they use the rest of us to make themselves look good.

Why is that?

Are we to afraid to challenge the creepy transphobes because they hang out with the cool transpeople.

But that is a whole another post about the hierarchies of legitimacy and all that.

Back to the creepy transphobes, they only want to know you while you are being a good quiet transperson and for as long you know your place.  And you must never forget your place.  If you think you are their friend, they will remind you of your place.

So what shall we do about the creepy transphobes?

Just one of the Guys

Today I got a book.  This book is called "Just one of the Guys" by Kristin Schilt.  While I have not finished it, what I have read of it, resonates with my own life.  Even though I am a transwoman, many of the issues the participants went through were similar to mine.  But the book raises some interesting issues around what constitutes gender and sex and how those two things are not what they are commonly held to be.





But when I read such books I am left with a question "What I am doing here?"
.

My Identity

I have been reading the interview with Yishay Garbasz.  http://www.prettyqueer.com/2013/03/03/interview-with-yishay-garbasz/

We are roughly the same age, both trans and both jewish.  Although I am from New Zealand and student and she is a Berlin-based British-Israeli artist.

But there was something she said that about identity that got me thinking.  I have been told that as someone who has had srs I am considered post transition.  As if surgery is the be all and end all of being trans.

But I do not.  I will forever be a transperson.  When they discover that I am a trans person, that is all they see.